I wonder if anyone will see this

I don't know how many people browse for blogs anymore, or if this will ever be seen by another living soul, but in it's own way, that makes me feel quite comfortable.  I can say anything I want and there is a good chance no one will ever read it, not unless I go out of my way to get attention which I don't intend to do.

I love ideas, I love design, but more than that I love introspection and personal growth.  The root of ideas for me tends to lie in what I know about myself and how that hints as to what others may want.
To really create great ideas you need to know so much about yourself, and you need to even reach a point where you don't just think in words when considering where your desires come from.  A lot of our consciousness is not conversing with itself, it's feeling things out from past impressions, experiences, memory.
Of course an important part of ideas is knowing the territory you are entering into, I often lack that as I am a very foolish person.  I am without obvious traumas, I am without beautiful language, and I am without any creditability.
I don't think clearly and I don't always get to a point.  My mind drifts aimlessly and I can hardly control the current, but I do understand a lot of things that many people choose to not think about. Mysteries so simple it tortures me everyone pretends they don't matter, despite being at the heart of some the darkest problems.
My deepest desire is simply to not feel alone.  To find one person in this world who's desires are clear and absolute, not filled with so many issues they ignore because they exist only at the skin of their consciousness.  So many people who claim to love psychology or philosophy are just looking for power and excitement.  Because they take for granted that the world before their time knows the way to progress, and hasn't missed something important along the way.
Naive and full of ulterior motives.
I may be full of myself in many ways, but I can promise one fact: I desire at any cost the greatest intelligence I can gain, and there is not one worldly pleasure, item, abuse that will pull me away from that goal.
I want what is real and eternal.